The Role of Coaches, Mentors, and Heroes

Happy Good Friday.

This week, I was reflecting on the role of the people in my life that I’ve learned from, drawn inspiration from, and admired in some way. 

In reflecting, I read through some personal journal entries from several years back. I noticed a pattern, especially in areas of struggle or uncertainty, or when making a big decision.

In every circumstance where I wasn’t sure what to do or had a decision to make, I referenced a conversation with someone who helped inform my next steps. Someone with experience. Someone wise. Someone with a vested interest in me, who knew me, someone I could ask questions to. 

Heroes and Mentors

Author and entrepreneur Seth Godin writes about the difference between heroes and mentors.

Mentors provide bespoke guidance. They take a personal interest in you. It's customized, rare and expensive.

Heroes live their lives in public, broadcasting their model to anyone who cares to look.

Seth’s point is that heroes are everywhere. They can impact your life, thinking, and habits, even if you have never met them. You might read their books, listen to their talks, watch them lead, and try to learn from and emulate them. In this way, heroes can be easily accessed, just without the benefit of them knowing you and your particular situation. We all should have heroes we look to and learn from.

Mentors are fewer and further between, and are just as important. They know you, and their advice is tailored to you and what they know about you.

Not everyone who speaks into our lives is a mentor. In my life, only 2-3 people have ever occupied a place that I would consider as a personal mentor, and none of those relationships started that way. They were some sort of a personal guide – a boss, a coach, an advisor, and I eventually came to see them as mentors.

💡 Takeaway: We need both heroes and personal guides in our lives. Heroes are people we may never meet, but we can watch and learn from, while coaches, advisors, and mentors provide personalized guidance. 

There are three types of personal guides — coaches, advisors, and mentors.

Coaches, Advisors, and Mentors

Bobb Biehl has worked with over 5,000 leaders over the last 50 years. He’s written more than 35 books and resources on leadership.

Twenty years ago, I was blessed to meet Bobb as a coach. Little did I know that he would become a mentor in my life. 

Bobb was working with individuals in our agency, and I was a young up-and-coming account executive. 

Bobb was in the office one day, and I was scheduled to meet with him. I don’t remember how it was explained to me, other than Bobb is an experienced coach and consultant, and we want you to meet with him. Great, a meeting with Bobb the consultant (Ever seen Office Space? Thankfully Bobb turned out better than the Bobs in the movie 🤣). 

I remember asking Bobb a question during our time together. I had been recently promoted to account executive, which meant that I was responsible for several clients at the agency. My clients were all much older and more experienced than I. 

I asked Bobb, “How am I supposed to advise these clients, when they have sometimes multiple decades of experience that I don’t have?” I felt inadequate and somewhat intimidated. 

To this day, I still remember what Bobb told me.

Bobb said, “Dave, experience just comes with time. Be patient. But you can always ask for wisdom, and that doesn’t depend on your age or experience.”

That advice was an unlock for me in that season. It helped me calm down and not stress about my lack of experience – that would come in time. But I could still contribute and bring value to clients right now, through wisdom. 

Years later, I asked Bobb, “What’s the difference between a coach, an advisor, and a mentor?”

• Coaching – teaching a subject through tailored advice and instruction.

• Advising/Consulting – help a person learn how to grow, professionally and organizationally. 

• Mentoring – a relationship in which the mentor helps the protege achieve their God-given potential.

In brief, coaches teach, advisors help grow, and mentors help individuals reach their full potential. 

💡 Takeaway: Personal guides might take the role of a coach by teaching a subject, an advisor by helping an individual learn how to grow, or a mentor by helping them to achieve their full potential.

I’ve been blessed to have coaches, advisors, and mentors. I think of people like Bobb Biehl, Chris Ihrig, Dan Serdahl, Lee Wilhite, Rory Starks, Steve Woodworth, Tom Harrison, and Tony Mikes. 

Who are the personal guides in your life? Who are those who have taught you, advised you, or even mentored you? What if you sent them a note or text right now, telling them why you are thankful for them?

Are there others you would like to learn from? Consider reaching out. Some people can be heroes in our lives – we may never need to meet them to learn and grow. But still others are placed in our lives for a reason, and it might take just a little proactivity on your part.

💡 Takeaway: Consider the people who have been coaches, advisors, and mentors in your life, and what they’ve meant to you and your development. Consider areas where you’d like to grow and might benefit from a guide.

As a part of our work at Imago Consulting, one of the favorite parts of my day job is advising and coaching leaders around growing sustainable recurring giving.

Until next week… Surfs Up! 🌊

  - Dave

About the Author | Dave Raley

Consultant, speaker, and author Dave Raley is the founder of Imago Consulting, a firm that helps nonprofits and businesses who serve nonprofits create profitable growth through sustainable innovation. He’s the author of the book The Rise of Sustainable Giving: How the Subscription Economy is Transforming Recurring Giving, and What Nonprofits Can Do to Benefit. Dave also writes a weekly innovation and leadership column called The Wave Report, and the co-founder of the Purpose & Profit Podcast — a show about the ideas at the intersection of nonprofit causes and for-profit brands. Connect with Dave on LinkedIn.

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