Why I Hate Change (but love resets)

I don’t like change.

I’ve never liked change. In 5th grade, I wore the same pair of olive green pants every day to school. And I don’t just mean that figuratively, as in most days. No, it was every. Single. Day. And we lived in Desert Hot Springs, where temperatures could soar above 120 degrees. We played soccer outside nearly every day at recess. It didn’t matter to this 10-year-old goalie, diving into the dirt to block a ball, green pants proudly on display. 

In high school, I ate a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread each day at lunch for an entire year. Why mess with perfection? 🥪

Just ask my wife. She easily redesigns our living room layout every two to three months. If it were up to me, we would figure out the optimal layout and never change it again. I would be the old person’s house you visited as a kid and wondered, “Has this house been this way for all time?” Just imagine the elderly Carl Frederickson from the movie Up. That would be me.

Above: In Up, Carl Frederickson understands the importance of being unwilling to change! Thank you, Mr. Frederickson, for setting such a good example for those of us who don’t like change. :)

It’s true. I don’t like change – not one bit.

But I love resets. 

Growing up, we moved every few years. For this introverted kid, I had to learn to make new friends, get to know a new neighborhood, and adjust to a new school. 

But when I really started to appreciate resets was in college. Going away to college is an entire life reset. Everything becomes a fresh decision – what am I going to do? What am I going to commit to? How am I going to live? Who am I going to be?

I got to decide what to put into my life, and not every new habit was a healthy one – it turns out that eating in the university cafeteria every day leads to gaining 20 pounds!

On the other hand, it was a gift to engage with a new community of people who shared similar passions and interests. 

For me, after college, resets have come fewer and further between in adult life. Getting married and moving to the Seattle area was a reset. Having each of our two girls was a reset. Covid was a reset. Leaving my secure job as an advertising agency executive after 18 years to found Imago Consulting was a reset. 

Each January is an opportunity for a reset. 

Resets aren’t always pleasant. They aren’t always in our control. But they can still be a gift if you take advantage of them. 

Here’s why I love resets. 

Resets bring fresh perspective.

As someone wise once said, it’s hard to read the label from inside the jar.

No matter how objective we think we are, we inevitably absorb the culture around us. We see things from a specific, and limited, perspective. For example, I thought I knew pretty much everyone after nearly two decades in my industry. That was until three years ago when I founded Imago Consulting. Seeing the sector from another perspective helped me understand how big our world really is. 

We are also shaped by our current environment, whether we can see it or not. When I was 10, our family was homeless for a period. We lived in a cheap motel room for a couple of months. My parents did their best to make the most of a difficult situation. Honestly, as a 10-year-old, I saw it as a grand adventure. I could roam the local strip malls and parks. The motel had a pool and bikes you could borrow. I felt like I owned the world. 

But it was also an environment that shaped my perspective. I met a local boy who lived in a nearby low-income apartment complex. Until this point in my life, I was generally a good kid who stayed out of trouble and respected authority. Over the course of a couple of months, this “friend” taught me how to steal toys from the local grocery store. We even got caught by the store manager, and I was mortified. But did I stop? No, when he was around, I kept on stealing. 

My mother didn’t know this was happening, but could tell this kid wasn’t good for me. She tried to confront me about her concerns, and I blew them off. “Mom, you don’t understand! He’s fine!”

After we moved, I never stole again, and I never had the slightest temptation to. A reset brought a fresh perspective, and I couldn’t see how that environment was shaping me until I was out of it.

I also love that resets present us with options.

Resets bring options.

Resets have the benefit of clearing our plate, at least in part, or sometimes, like in the case of the Covid pandemic, almost entirely. 

Like you, Covid became a near-total involuntary reset in our lives. All commitments were essentially reset - kids' activities, social obligations, and even driving to work every day. 

As the pandemic restrictions receded, we were intentional as a family to selectively add back those things in our lives that were fueling us, helping us to be healthy, and leaving other previous commitments behind. We also added new things to our lives that were meaningful to us in this season of life, like family adventures. 

The last thing I appreciate about resets is they often provide a window to step up one’s game.

Resets invite leveling up.

When you have a reset, it provides opportunities. To take things to the next level. To make better choices – choices that lead to health and growth and thriving. When I left my freshman year, 20 pounds heavier than when I entered, I faced a reset that summer. I took that opportunity to reset my eating habits. I no longer went to the cafeteria where I could fill my plate multiple times and finish each meal with dessert, and instead chose to eat at the quick service cafe with a la carte menu items, or simply back at my apartment. I started running again that summer and lost both the weight and the bad habits that had formed in that season. That reset was a gift.

This is my third year since leaving the security of a full-time executive position in an advertising agency to found Imago Consulting. When I left, I knew it was going to be a rare opportunity to have a total work-life reset.

For the entire first year of Imago Consulting, my goal was to take advantage of the reset and develop the habits and systems that would serve me 10 years from now. For example, I started writing The Wave Report weekly. When I began writing The Wave Report, I was nervous. Could I pull off a weekly rhythm of in-depth articles helping leaders see “waves” they can leverage to grow themselves and their organizations? 

In my previous role, I was lucky to write one blog post every 6 weeks. How could I start a company, build it from scratch, serve clients, do business development, speak, AND write a weekly 1,200-1,500 word article?

I had to reset my habits. I’m up each morning writing by 6:30-7:00, and it takes me three to four sessions to finish a Wave Report. When I travel, I have to be organized enough to write ahead or carve out time on the road. I had to develop a repeatable process that worked for me. 

And so far, so good – this is the 125th consecutive weekly edition of The Wave Report. 🎉🎉🎉

That weekly writing discipline also helped prepare me to write my first book, The Rise of Sustainable Giving. It gave me the writing muscles to believe that I might be able to do something like write a full-length book.

And this week, I opened my first-ever hardcopy edition. 🥲

Above: Unboxing the first-ever hardcover edition of my new book, The Rise of Sustainable Giving. I would not be holding this book today without a near-total reset almost three years ago. Have I mentioned it releases on February 4, and you can pre-order it now? 😉

Resets can be a gift, but only if you take advantage of them. 

💡 Takeaway: Resets don’t come very often. New job, new move, new marriage, new child, new year. Take advantage of resets and look at them as opportunities.

 January is a natural reset. What are you doing to leverage this natural reboot?

Until next week… Surfs Up! 🌊

  - Dave

About the Author | Dave Raley

Consultant, speaker, and author Dave Raley is the founder of Imago Consulting, a firm that helps nonprofits and businesses who serve nonprofits create profitable growth through sustainable innovation. He’s the author of the book The Rise of Sustainable Giving: How the Subscription Economy is Transforming Recurring Giving, and What Nonprofits Can Do to Benefit. Dave also writes a weekly innovation and leadership column called The Wave Report, and the co-founder of the Purpose & Profit Podcast — a show about the ideas at the intersection of nonprofit causes and for-profit brands. Connect with Dave on LinkedIn.

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